I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
