RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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