I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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