What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
