So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
