Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i came on her dog
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
