do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
