Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
