New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
