Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
