I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
