you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize