He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
