My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
