The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
