i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
