I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
