took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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