my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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