I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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