i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
