i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You took a bar mat shot.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
