I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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