is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
