we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
