you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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