hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
