she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
