He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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