I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
