Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
