glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
