and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
