I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
