just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize