Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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