Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
