All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
