just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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