omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
