Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
