And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
