I'm so fucking centered right now
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
