I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize