DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
