Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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