i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
