I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
