JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
