Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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