i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
