yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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