Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
