Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
