I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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