I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
