You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
