we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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