Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
