White coat. Heels.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
