i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
