tell your sister to shave her snatch
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
